The Bottom Line

The bottom line has sunk nearly all the way to hell. The balance sheet is decidedly unbalanced. And I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and making a trench in the mud.

A few years back, Reverend Lawrence did a series of seminars on Abundance. I wish I had those sermons to listen to now. He talked at length about the perception of "lack." I'm feeling kind of stuck there now.

I don't have any real lack... just this anticipation and sense that it's hovering around me like a buzzard waiting to pounce on the carrion of my budget.

I have a house. I can pay the heating bill. I have a wonderful man who loves me. There is always food to put on the table. My ski pass is already paid for, it costs nothing to go play save a bit of money for gas and those prices have bottomed out nicely.

So what's my problem?

I've been paid a bit more than I actually earned and am looking at paying my employer for the last month of the year. My income is about 1/2 what it was 2 years ago. I'm being asked to buy into the practice at a price that will nearly equal our house payment each month. And today, I had so few patients that my Medical Assistant made more money at her pathetic hourly rate than I did. My schedule for tomorrow is equally abysmal and Thursday I have no patients at all.

So now what? How do I get myself out of dwelling on that and remembering all of the wonderful abundance in my life? Maybe it's time to think about or get in touch with those who really do have a lot of lack... to donate my money and time at the local shelter. I miss my work with the homeless... it kept me grounded and in balance. But there is no work to be done with them up here. So maybe I should go serve meals... I can't care for them in the way I'm used to but perhaps I can spread a little caring in a different way. And be reminded what real lack looks like.