Le Tour started today. They started with a time trial. Our Tour de Fort started with a day in the mountains.
Guy was bent on riding up Rist Canyon. Rist is “The Ride” in the Fort Collins area. I wasn’t feeling quite so spunky. But then, I rarely do. So we finally got our bikes together and got ready to ride. The clouds were building and I was almost hoping for rain as we rode out. I was dragging even going over Bingham Hill. This did not bode well for Rist.
The Rist Canyon ride is over 12 miles for a 2200-3000 ft altitude gain depending on who you believe. Near the top, it’s rumored to be a 12% grade. Regardless, it’s a puker of a ride. I say that only because of what I was doing on the way up. Guy, on the other hand, was riding up and looping back to see how I was doing.
It’s a lovely ride. Penstemon and Indian blankets flank the road. The grass is green from the recent rains and the pine beetle hasn’t affected the trees. Birches are 1 ½ feet in diameter. There isn’t much of a shoulder but there were almost more bikes than cars. We had purposely opted not to ride around the Res since there would be lots of traffic there on July 4. We guessed correctly.
Riding up, we came upon a few riders heading up the canyon. None of them sounded especially jazzed about riding to the top once they were into the climb. Perhaps that is the tone that breathlessness gives to everyone’s voice. I was pleased that I didn’t get passed by anyone (except Guy looping around) except while we were stopped to take a call on the pager. No doubt that rider would have passed me in motion but I am sticking to my story anyway.
About 2/3 of the way up, there is a huge meadow where things level out. It was a nice break and a chance to gawk at houses we wouldn’t mind having if we ever hit the lotto. Then the climbing started again. The clouds were looking particularly ominous and I couldn’t help but think if it started raining I might have an excuse to turn around. I was already contemplating doing so because I was pretty sure I had been out of pager range for longer than was appropriate. But I did not turn around and it did not start raining… until I reached the top.
When we hit the top, Guy and I stopped briefly. It was beginning to sprinkle but we had earned a quick look at the view. By the time we got to the second turn (less than 200 yards) it was really starting to rain. And as we descended, so did the raindrops. My saddle has an indentation so the girly bits don’t get sore or numb. It became a puddle of cold rainwater that was flowing over my backside. With each pedal stroke a river of cold rainwater followed the calf of my straightening leg down into my shoe, a tiny cold blast on each stroke.
I am normally a chicken on a steep downhill, giving a new meaning to the term “screaming downhill.” This long downhill on wet pavement had the distinct chance of becoming treacherous if not lethal. Nonetheless, we picked up speed, even around the curves. I’m pretty sure we exceeded the 35 mph speed limit more than once. When I did look at my bike computer I remember seeing 33 mph several times. No doubt I wasn’t necessarily checking it during the fastest bits. The ride down took just over ¼ the time it took to ride up. Rain continued to pour on us as we made our way through the towns of Bellevue and La Porte. I learned quickly not to get too close to Guy’s back wheel lest I become a human mud flap. Not that it mattered since I was riding for all I was worth to get to a hot shower anyway.
More later….
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
A Month of Sundays
Sunday is fast becoming my favorite day of the week. It is the one morning I can sleep in as long as I don't feel to pressured to get in a run or ride early. It is a day of having people hanging about working in their yards or watching the kids play in the street. It's a day of partly ignoring the to-do list and partly working through it. Sometimes procrastination can be productive in spite of itself.
I woke up this morning to the insistent whine of the pager letting me know someone else wasn't having such a restful morning. My packet sitting on the dining table called me to do what I "should" be doing. I paid attention to the pager and ignored the packet. Guy was already out in the garage making sawdust and noise. I'm sure much more productive things were going on out there but if I acknowledge them I won't have any excuses to make him do dishes.
I opened the fridge and took out the last of the farm fresh milk we were trying this week. I brewed up a nice latte to start my day. I thought I'd drink it while washing spinach and then go for my bike ride. I know, washing spinach doesn't seem like a typical Sunday task. It is now. We bought a share in a local organic farm and are getting bags of yummy veggies. Trouble is we are often too busy to eat them all. This week's veggies were picked up on Tuesday - two kinds of radishes, 3 heads of lettuce (green, red, and butter), 1 bunch garlic leaves, 1 bunch chives, 1 bunch garlic chives, 1 bunch cilantro, 1 bunch parsley, 3 lbs of spinach. The hadn't been touched. Last week's veggies weren't all gone either though they had been cleaned and stored in paper towels in the crisper drawer.
I have learned that the produce does best if left in a breathable cloth bag without washing the dirt off, even if it is damp to begin with. Once washed, it needs to be eaten quickly. This week we are trying those "green bags" as seen on TV at the suggestion of a friend. The lettuce and the best of the spinach is divided into a large bag of salad for each of us and some was given to the neighbor for a dinner she is attending tonight. The less-nice spinach has been tucked neatly with zucchini, yellow squash and red sauce between lasagna noodles and layers of mozzerella. A bit of it got tossed into potato kale soup which will be sprinkled with grated gruyere. All of the bell peppers have been stewed into Ropa Viejo with a rump roast for Guy to eat for lunches. And leftover forbidden and brown rice was tossed in with an ailing sweet potato that was sauteed in curry powder and then doused with broth. A few shrimp found their way into that dish and it will provide lunches for me.
Now that I don't have any more cooking to do for the day and have used up all of the veggies, the packet is calling once again. I avoided it a little longer on a bike ride but I'm getting in better shape and the ride gives me less of a reprieve from the reading. I know, a nice shower... that'll be much more enjoyable than reading... and then, I must.
I think, if I could have a month of Sundays it would be a beautiful thing.
Ropa Viejo
To make this dish, I thinly sliced a medium onion and put it in the bottom of the crock. I put in 2 bell peppers, any color, sliced and one package of green chiles (this was ½ package of dynamite chiles) and sprinkled about 2 Tablespoons of cumin on top. I took a beef rump roast (the cut doesn’t really matter) and cut it into 4 large pieces just so it would fit. I poured 2 cans of diced tomatoes on top and cooked it on high for 4 hours. Guy turned it down onto low for about another 2 hours and it was done.
Potato Kale Soup with Gruyere
I took a recipe from a friend and modified it slightly to use the abundance of fresh greens in my refrigerator. I did not have 6 cups of kale but did have some braising greens in addition to a smaller amount of kale. I also had some spinach wilting in the crisper drawer so I added it also. The spinach definitely overpowers the kale so I’d suggest using one or the other. It was quite tasty but with just one or the other would be better. Remember to chop the kale and other greens. It is difficult to eat this if you don’t.
Ingredients
* 2 tablespoons butter or olive oil
* 1 bunch garlic leaves, chopped
* 1 bunch chives, chopped
* 2 quarts chicken broth
* 4 cups coarsely chopped Yukon gold potato (about 1 1/2 pounds)
* 1 sprig rosemary, minced
* 6 cups chopped fresh kale (about 3/4 pound)
* 4 springs thyme leaves
* 9 tablespoons (about 2 ounces) shredded Gruyère cheese
* Fresh chives
* Salt and pepper to taste
Preparation
Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add garlic leaves and chives; cook until fragrant and tender, stirring frequently.Stir in broth, potato, fresh ground pepper, and herbs; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 25 minutes or until potato is tender. Partially mash potatoes with a potato masher.
Stir in kale and basil. Cover and simmer 10 minutes or until kale is tender. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Top with cheese and chives.
I woke up this morning to the insistent whine of the pager letting me know someone else wasn't having such a restful morning. My packet sitting on the dining table called me to do what I "should" be doing. I paid attention to the pager and ignored the packet. Guy was already out in the garage making sawdust and noise. I'm sure much more productive things were going on out there but if I acknowledge them I won't have any excuses to make him do dishes.
I opened the fridge and took out the last of the farm fresh milk we were trying this week. I brewed up a nice latte to start my day. I thought I'd drink it while washing spinach and then go for my bike ride. I know, washing spinach doesn't seem like a typical Sunday task. It is now. We bought a share in a local organic farm and are getting bags of yummy veggies. Trouble is we are often too busy to eat them all. This week's veggies were picked up on Tuesday - two kinds of radishes, 3 heads of lettuce (green, red, and butter), 1 bunch garlic leaves, 1 bunch chives, 1 bunch garlic chives, 1 bunch cilantro, 1 bunch parsley, 3 lbs of spinach. The hadn't been touched. Last week's veggies weren't all gone either though they had been cleaned and stored in paper towels in the crisper drawer.
I have learned that the produce does best if left in a breathable cloth bag without washing the dirt off, even if it is damp to begin with. Once washed, it needs to be eaten quickly. This week we are trying those "green bags" as seen on TV at the suggestion of a friend. The lettuce and the best of the spinach is divided into a large bag of salad for each of us and some was given to the neighbor for a dinner she is attending tonight. The less-nice spinach has been tucked neatly with zucchini, yellow squash and red sauce between lasagna noodles and layers of mozzerella. A bit of it got tossed into potato kale soup which will be sprinkled with grated gruyere. All of the bell peppers have been stewed into Ropa Viejo with a rump roast for Guy to eat for lunches. And leftover forbidden and brown rice was tossed in with an ailing sweet potato that was sauteed in curry powder and then doused with broth. A few shrimp found their way into that dish and it will provide lunches for me.
Now that I don't have any more cooking to do for the day and have used up all of the veggies, the packet is calling once again. I avoided it a little longer on a bike ride but I'm getting in better shape and the ride gives me less of a reprieve from the reading. I know, a nice shower... that'll be much more enjoyable than reading... and then, I must.
I think, if I could have a month of Sundays it would be a beautiful thing.
Ropa Viejo
To make this dish, I thinly sliced a medium onion and put it in the bottom of the crock. I put in 2 bell peppers, any color, sliced and one package of green chiles (this was ½ package of dynamite chiles) and sprinkled about 2 Tablespoons of cumin on top. I took a beef rump roast (the cut doesn’t really matter) and cut it into 4 large pieces just so it would fit. I poured 2 cans of diced tomatoes on top and cooked it on high for 4 hours. Guy turned it down onto low for about another 2 hours and it was done.
Potato Kale Soup with Gruyere
I took a recipe from a friend and modified it slightly to use the abundance of fresh greens in my refrigerator. I did not have 6 cups of kale but did have some braising greens in addition to a smaller amount of kale. I also had some spinach wilting in the crisper drawer so I added it also. The spinach definitely overpowers the kale so I’d suggest using one or the other. It was quite tasty but with just one or the other would be better. Remember to chop the kale and other greens. It is difficult to eat this if you don’t.
Ingredients
* 2 tablespoons butter or olive oil
* 1 bunch garlic leaves, chopped
* 1 bunch chives, chopped
* 2 quarts chicken broth
* 4 cups coarsely chopped Yukon gold potato (about 1 1/2 pounds)
* 1 sprig rosemary, minced
* 6 cups chopped fresh kale (about 3/4 pound)
* 4 springs thyme leaves
* 9 tablespoons (about 2 ounces) shredded Gruyère cheese
* Fresh chives
* Salt and pepper to taste
Preparation
Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add garlic leaves and chives; cook until fragrant and tender, stirring frequently.Stir in broth, potato, fresh ground pepper, and herbs; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 25 minutes or until potato is tender. Partially mash potatoes with a potato masher.
Stir in kale and basil. Cover and simmer 10 minutes or until kale is tender. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Top with cheese and chives.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Again
You are still missing
The space that holds your name echoes
Still
With your absence
When a memory hangs suspended
On a moment
A photo
Hanging suspended
In a café
Reminds me of Petite Teton
Your little running joke
I smile
But a tear drops to the bottom
Of the well
A Buddhist description of the Grand Canyon
Evokes images
Of Palo Duro
Nature’s artwork
Etched indelibly
By your hands and blood
You always talked of the magic of the Canyon
Stories of worn rock
Where the grandmothers ground corn
tales of the presence
of Shaliko
footsteps heard from those unseen
the Roadrunner visiting not by chance
In hindsight
I see that you are both magician and magic
Weaving a tapestry of love and mystery
Mingled with earth and sweat
Creating myth
Now you exist as both
Myth and magic
No longer tangible
But omnipresent in this place
And my thoughts
We were careless with each other
Not out of neglect
But out of comfort
as is the way with those we love the most
Accepting our histories
Excepting a few details
Forgetting faults
Finding the best things to build our friendship on
Having the time of our lives
But never having enough time
Larger than life
Until life could no longer contain you
Your experience showed in
Philosophizin’
But the wild child
And rascal moonshiner in you never grew up
Mischief always gave itself away
In your smile
What is it about death
That I can’t touch you any more
But you can still touch me
When I least expect it
LB
4/8/09
The space that holds your name echoes
Still
With your absence
When a memory hangs suspended
On a moment
A photo
Hanging suspended
In a café
Reminds me of Petite Teton
Your little running joke
I smile
But a tear drops to the bottom
Of the well
A Buddhist description of the Grand Canyon
Evokes images
Of Palo Duro
Nature’s artwork
Etched indelibly
By your hands and blood
You always talked of the magic of the Canyon
Stories of worn rock
Where the grandmothers ground corn
tales of the presence
of Shaliko
footsteps heard from those unseen
the Roadrunner visiting not by chance
In hindsight
I see that you are both magician and magic
Weaving a tapestry of love and mystery
Mingled with earth and sweat
Creating myth
Now you exist as both
Myth and magic
No longer tangible
But omnipresent in this place
And my thoughts
We were careless with each other
Not out of neglect
But out of comfort
as is the way with those we love the most
Accepting our histories
Excepting a few details
Forgetting faults
Finding the best things to build our friendship on
Having the time of our lives
But never having enough time
Larger than life
Until life could no longer contain you
Your experience showed in
Philosophizin’
But the wild child
And rascal moonshiner in you never grew up
Mischief always gave itself away
In your smile
What is it about death
That I can’t touch you any more
But you can still touch me
When I least expect it
LB
4/8/09
It seems as though everyone I know is working harder and having less to show for it. I wonder if we should just stop. If we get no where by working, couldn't we be just as successful by working less and playing more?
Today is a gorgeous day.
In this office, I can't get away with "calling in well." There is no way to play hookey when you work with a bunch of doctors. But I can stare out the window and dream. And after work, I can lace up my shoes sweat out the small stuff.
Are we done yet?
Mom, can I go outside and play?
Today is a gorgeous day.
In this office, I can't get away with "calling in well." There is no way to play hookey when you work with a bunch of doctors. But I can stare out the window and dream. And after work, I can lace up my shoes sweat out the small stuff.
Are we done yet?
Mom, can I go outside and play?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Last week was hell week. Coming off of a wonderful weekend with my Brother and the kids I was tired but glad to have some joy under my belt.
On call 2 of the 3 days in the office and the whole weekend
one "day off" was spent in an all day meeting in Denver
1800 pages of "stuff" to read, none of it uplifting
dealing with taxes
Saturday night in the urgent care
I was short on sleep, patience, and hadn't cooked anything to eat for the week so I had nothing yummy to soothe my soul.
So the question is, what can I do to make this week better?
1. I slept about 11 hours last night so I'll go into the next week rested.
2. Made a huge pot of fried rice with shrimp to munch for the week
3. making a pot of mushroom barley soup so I have a variety of yums
4. No reading! bought a book of short fiction to read instead
5. Hired a book keeper and will have her do the rest of the tax stuff
6. Scheduled a massage for my day off
7. Starting the week with a date with Guy at New Belgium Brewery
8. Already got in a good swim
9. Starting the week with a clean house and clean laundry
11. Only on call one day this week! YAY
On call 2 of the 3 days in the office and the whole weekend
one "day off" was spent in an all day meeting in Denver
1800 pages of "stuff" to read, none of it uplifting
dealing with taxes
Saturday night in the urgent care
I was short on sleep, patience, and hadn't cooked anything to eat for the week so I had nothing yummy to soothe my soul.
So the question is, what can I do to make this week better?
1. I slept about 11 hours last night so I'll go into the next week rested.
2. Made a huge pot of fried rice with shrimp to munch for the week
3. making a pot of mushroom barley soup so I have a variety of yums
4. No reading! bought a book of short fiction to read instead
5. Hired a book keeper and will have her do the rest of the tax stuff
6. Scheduled a massage for my day off
7. Starting the week with a date with Guy at New Belgium Brewery
8. Already got in a good swim
9. Starting the week with a clean house and clean laundry
11. Only on call one day this week! YAY
Monday, March 9, 2009
Funk
Today I started with a good swim. Working on increasing power in my stroke. I did a time trial. 11 min 20 seconds for 500 meters. No Michael Phelps but better than before!
***** My intention was to spin but a very rude person took the bike I had ******
***** "claimed" by putting my shoes on it. I know, get over it. ******
I got to work and, not only did I have my wonderful Paula, I also had the extern to help us while we were on call. She's bright, enjoyable, personable, and professional.
I had 2 new patients today and have another tomorrow. The business is growing gradually. A few patients a day. A handful of "keepers" and a handful of those who will come in randomly when they absolutely have to.
***** Nevermind the patient who I really like that I had to "fire" because of *****
***** issues. Nevermind the frustration of getting charts for med refills of *****
***** patients not seen since 2005. Nevermind the issues of the "practice" and *****
***** dealing with the financial issues of a business that is not a profitable *****
***** business to be in. *****
I came home to the man I love. To the ingredients for green chile enchiladas ready to be thrown into a casserole and heated through.
***** I'm smelling this wonderful smell filling my house and it's not done yet *****
OH YEAH, THAT'S NOT A RANT... THAT'S GOOD!
I know I shouldn't complain. Sometimes ya gotta rant. Now that that's out of my system!
***** My intention was to spin but a very rude person took the bike I had ******
***** "claimed" by putting my shoes on it. I know, get over it. ******
I got to work and, not only did I have my wonderful Paula, I also had the extern to help us while we were on call. She's bright, enjoyable, personable, and professional.
I had 2 new patients today and have another tomorrow. The business is growing gradually. A few patients a day. A handful of "keepers" and a handful of those who will come in randomly when they absolutely have to.
***** Nevermind the patient who I really like that I had to "fire" because of *****
***** issues. Nevermind the frustration of getting charts for med refills of *****
***** patients not seen since 2005. Nevermind the issues of the "practice" and *****
***** dealing with the financial issues of a business that is not a profitable *****
***** business to be in. *****
I came home to the man I love. To the ingredients for green chile enchiladas ready to be thrown into a casserole and heated through.
***** I'm smelling this wonderful smell filling my house and it's not done yet *****
OH YEAH, THAT'S NOT A RANT... THAT'S GOOD!
I know I shouldn't complain. Sometimes ya gotta rant. Now that that's out of my system!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Shawarm-ish
This has been a good weekend in spite of the fact that Guy has been up sking and I have been home. My to-do list had about a million and one things on it, give or take 3/4 of a million or so. I know, for a fact, that I crossed at least 2 things off my list.
So, the basement trim and doors are painted and the doors hung. The laundry is done. I made a huge crock pot of Ropa Viejo for Guy to eat this week. And I made myself something vaguely resembling Shawarma but made with fish and veggies. It's pretty good for a complete bastardization of a really yummy dish.
Today I was talking to my Mom. She just signed up for her first Tri. I'm so thrilled to hear her so excited by the challenge. I had plans for a good workout but I also had a long to-do list. I wasn't about to skip the workout after talking to Mom!
So I test rode a Specialized Ruby Elite road bike. It's suh-weet! I have a few other bikes to test ride... but I think I'm gonna be really happy to have a bike that fits my shortness.
I went to the Arapahoe Natural Area on the east side of town. Early in the morning it would almost be in the shadow of the evil, even if it is green, Walmart but for the Interstate in between. Being on the east side, it's flat... loops of dirt winding around wide spots in a branch of the Cache La Poudre River that they actually call "lakes." There are signs with the fishing size limits for the anglers who apparently hang out there.
There were no anglers today. A few folks lounging in a rowboat. One guy doing laps around the largest of the "lakes" in a kayak. A 4-pack of ladies on horses having a great time in the river. And me. Well, and a bunch of Canadian Geese who have no intention of heading back north as it warms up. The mountains poked their snowy tops toward the blue and overcast skies. An abandoned farm between me and the mountains gave it a picturesque, rural look though the sounds of the I blared behind me. One piece of farm equipment sat parked on a peninsula into Big Bass Lake with a beautiful pattern carved into the soil where something will soon begin growing.
My loops gave way to the pool. Two straight lanes with 4 people moving back and forth. A liquid treadmill but slightly less boring. 30 minutes was all I could stomach before coming home to my "duties" and my Shawarm-ish. Now, back to work.
So, the basement trim and doors are painted and the doors hung. The laundry is done. I made a huge crock pot of Ropa Viejo for Guy to eat this week. And I made myself something vaguely resembling Shawarma but made with fish and veggies. It's pretty good for a complete bastardization of a really yummy dish.
Today I was talking to my Mom. She just signed up for her first Tri. I'm so thrilled to hear her so excited by the challenge. I had plans for a good workout but I also had a long to-do list. I wasn't about to skip the workout after talking to Mom!
So I test rode a Specialized Ruby Elite road bike. It's suh-weet! I have a few other bikes to test ride... but I think I'm gonna be really happy to have a bike that fits my shortness.
I went to the Arapahoe Natural Area on the east side of town. Early in the morning it would almost be in the shadow of the evil, even if it is green, Walmart but for the Interstate in between. Being on the east side, it's flat... loops of dirt winding around wide spots in a branch of the Cache La Poudre River that they actually call "lakes." There are signs with the fishing size limits for the anglers who apparently hang out there.
There were no anglers today. A few folks lounging in a rowboat. One guy doing laps around the largest of the "lakes" in a kayak. A 4-pack of ladies on horses having a great time in the river. And me. Well, and a bunch of Canadian Geese who have no intention of heading back north as it warms up. The mountains poked their snowy tops toward the blue and overcast skies. An abandoned farm between me and the mountains gave it a picturesque, rural look though the sounds of the I blared behind me. One piece of farm equipment sat parked on a peninsula into Big Bass Lake with a beautiful pattern carved into the soil where something will soon begin growing.
My loops gave way to the pool. Two straight lanes with 4 people moving back and forth. A liquid treadmill but slightly less boring. 30 minutes was all I could stomach before coming home to my "duties" and my Shawarm-ish. Now, back to work.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Daniel Shore said “Kablooey” on the radio
Some days I am struck by “sound bites.” Little bits and pieces of things I hear seem to come together into a thought, a story, or a feeling. Today I listened to NPR on the way to Denver and back again. I often listen to NPR to get the news or to get some story to lift me above what the news had to bring me down.
I happen to love listening to Daniel Shore. He is, at once, intelligent and slurred, articulate and sarcastic. But today, he said “Kablooey.” He said it on national air time. If that doesn’t describe the world today, I don’t know what does.
Tonight, I listened to the evening programs… Reviews of movies about little girls and trap doors and moms with no time and button eyes…Reviews of new Off Broadway productions about war in Africa and the new and devastating battlefields. And I heard E-Town with Spoon from Austin and Dar Williams. Toss in a little music off my cds from Carrie Newcomer.
Those things coupled with the state of the world, looking at my taxes and studying for a class on life saving colored my world tonight. This is what came together from all the sound bites.
Ruined
Women’s bodies
turned battleground
destroyed for now
and minefields laid
in case of peace in the future
Such battles are also waged
where there is no war
but there is no peace
No body
gets through this life
without scars
save those who exit as they enter
as if they made a wrong turn
on the way to nirvana
There are other battles
that ravage us without weapons
leaving behind the schrapnel
of loss
Need
Pain
We are left to look at the world
with button eyes
that cannot truly see
afraid to die
but more afraid to live
scratching at the Earth
to turn up dust
and a morsel of hope
or cheese
I count
on the mercy of the fallen
that we will help each other up
that we will pretend
there is no risk
enough to heal each other
to build something firm
where once stood a house of cards
and to make
a life more important
than making a living
I join the chorus of voices
saying “enough”
and hands working
to set things right
My better self
would not question the power of love
but would pick up a shovel
and uncover what is right with the world.
LB
2/7/09
I happen to love listening to Daniel Shore. He is, at once, intelligent and slurred, articulate and sarcastic. But today, he said “Kablooey.” He said it on national air time. If that doesn’t describe the world today, I don’t know what does.
Tonight, I listened to the evening programs… Reviews of movies about little girls and trap doors and moms with no time and button eyes…Reviews of new Off Broadway productions about war in Africa and the new and devastating battlefields. And I heard E-Town with Spoon from Austin and Dar Williams. Toss in a little music off my cds from Carrie Newcomer.
Those things coupled with the state of the world, looking at my taxes and studying for a class on life saving colored my world tonight. This is what came together from all the sound bites.
Ruined
Women’s bodies
turned battleground
destroyed for now
and minefields laid
in case of peace in the future
Such battles are also waged
where there is no war
but there is no peace
No body
gets through this life
without scars
save those who exit as they enter
as if they made a wrong turn
on the way to nirvana
There are other battles
that ravage us without weapons
leaving behind the schrapnel
of loss
Need
Pain
We are left to look at the world
with button eyes
that cannot truly see
afraid to die
but more afraid to live
scratching at the Earth
to turn up dust
and a morsel of hope
or cheese
I count
on the mercy of the fallen
that we will help each other up
that we will pretend
there is no risk
enough to heal each other
to build something firm
where once stood a house of cards
and to make
a life more important
than making a living
I join the chorus of voices
saying “enough”
and hands working
to set things right
My better self
would not question the power of love
but would pick up a shovel
and uncover what is right with the world.
LB
2/7/09
Monday, February 2, 2009
Finding Grace on Skis
Sometimes Grace tastes a lot like snow
It has the fragrance of joy
And the essence of good friends
It is as clear as a cloudless sky
And has the quiet hiss of sliding
between the moments
It is easy to find Grace
On the top of a mountain
At altitudes too high for angst to breathe
Seemingly farther from the pull of gravity
Closer to the arms of Mother Nature
Or heaven
Or the Sage who sits on top
If, by chance, those niggling thoughts follow you
Grace will help you escape
For a while
By showing you the white spaces between the trees
And the secret stashes of powdery snow that muffle everything
And by reminding you to let go
Of that belly laugh and whoop that is bubbling up
From deep inside
Grace always lingers
In the edges of your mind
Waiting for the chance to touch you
Or to push you over the edge
Into the experience that is life.
2/2/09
LB
It has the fragrance of joy
And the essence of good friends
It is as clear as a cloudless sky
And has the quiet hiss of sliding
between the moments
It is easy to find Grace
On the top of a mountain
At altitudes too high for angst to breathe
Seemingly farther from the pull of gravity
Closer to the arms of Mother Nature
Or heaven
Or the Sage who sits on top
If, by chance, those niggling thoughts follow you
Grace will help you escape
For a while
By showing you the white spaces between the trees
And the secret stashes of powdery snow that muffle everything
And by reminding you to let go
Of that belly laugh and whoop that is bubbling up
From deep inside
Grace always lingers
In the edges of your mind
Waiting for the chance to touch you
Or to push you over the edge
Into the experience that is life.
2/2/09
LB
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Remembering
Some nights are for remembering
Stumbling across old poetry
I watch Harley age in print
And though his body has faded
I can feel the softness of the hair on his neck
Against my cheek
And the familiar ache
Of missing his warm unconditional love
Remembering
What it felt like to run well
And what it felt like
The last time I relearned
And worked so hard to get in shape
Despite the cold winter
My body remembers the heat of sun
Warming Red soil and my bones
Amidst the swirling Spanish Skirts
And the sound of Red’s voice
Spreading warm joy across my face
I am remembering friends from long ago
Friends found again
And friends long lost
There is bitter sweetness
In the passing of time
Tomorrow when I wake
I will forget this bit of nostalgia
And buckle myself into a new day
On the snow with new friends
Until I stumble across old poetry
And spend another night remembering.
1/30/09
LB
Stumbling across old poetry
I watch Harley age in print
And though his body has faded
I can feel the softness of the hair on his neck
Against my cheek
And the familiar ache
Of missing his warm unconditional love
Remembering
What it felt like to run well
And what it felt like
The last time I relearned
And worked so hard to get in shape
Despite the cold winter
My body remembers the heat of sun
Warming Red soil and my bones
Amidst the swirling Spanish Skirts
And the sound of Red’s voice
Spreading warm joy across my face
I am remembering friends from long ago
Friends found again
And friends long lost
There is bitter sweetness
In the passing of time
Tomorrow when I wake
I will forget this bit of nostalgia
And buckle myself into a new day
On the snow with new friends
Until I stumble across old poetry
And spend another night remembering.
1/30/09
LB
Sunday, January 25, 2009
January evening - what winter is all about
Ahhhhh. This is what winter is all about. I just got out of a very hot shower. The temp in the house is finally above 60 degrees. And I am snuggled up in my Big Red bathrobe. No, it's not red, though it is slightly big. It's a robe that my dear friend Big Red had made for me with my name embroidered on it. Big Red was one of the loves of my life. If only he'd been 30 years younger! Even in his 70s he was sexy in a gentlemanly way. So kind, so sweet. He was a good friend and a travel buddy. He would warm this robe while I showered and leave in on a hook for me as I got out. I miss him, terribly.
I'm just in from a ski weekend. It was a weekend with the Bettys. Keystone Resort in Summit County, CO does a fabulous weekend of women skiers and women coaches. There's nothing like it. I feel sorry for the guys because they can't even really understand... Bettyfest... it's a woman thing! I met the coolest bunch of women. I've done this 5 times and I've met a huge bunch of really neat women who ski way beyond what you can imagine. They love snow. They love hills. They love bumps and trees and steeps. They want to get better and better. And they do!
This time I had a really neat coach, Joey. I've skied with Joey a time or two but never had her as a coach. She focuses on the positive but still gives you something to work on. I got a lot of new things out of this clinic. Whenever we go to the Bettyfest, all the "go for it ATV" women want to ski with Annie. That's because Annie really goes for it and teaches a lot of good stuff. She's a fabulous coach. Sometimes it's good to hear a different perspective. Another way of saying basically the same thing. That's what Joey did this time and some things really clicked. Guy was jealous that I got to ski with Joey, now I know why.
I met some really cool women to ski with too. I love skiing with the guys but sometimes they degrade into being "guys" and have to out-testosterone each other. It hurts when you try to do that... I don't like pain. When you ski with women, you push each other but a little bit more gently. It's not about drawing blood, it's about having fun, learning something new, and building a friendship. It's about having an experience you can build on next time. Remembering what that really cool set of turns felt like.
I do a lot of sports. Running, biking, skiing, swimming. I have a set of friends for each. And a lot of them cross the boundaries. There is nothing like those friendships.
So, after a good ski weekend and a hot shower, I sit on the sofa and share the beauty of the experience with anyone who wants to read this blog. And later, I'll snuggle down in my warmed bed (electric blanket to get it warm before I even get in) with the most wonderful man in the world... sorry ladies, I'm keeping him... he's the best ever. And I'll dream about next weekend.... on the slopes... in the snow... with great friends.
This is what winter is all about.
I'm just in from a ski weekend. It was a weekend with the Bettys. Keystone Resort in Summit County, CO does a fabulous weekend of women skiers and women coaches. There's nothing like it. I feel sorry for the guys because they can't even really understand... Bettyfest... it's a woman thing! I met the coolest bunch of women. I've done this 5 times and I've met a huge bunch of really neat women who ski way beyond what you can imagine. They love snow. They love hills. They love bumps and trees and steeps. They want to get better and better. And they do!
This time I had a really neat coach, Joey. I've skied with Joey a time or two but never had her as a coach. She focuses on the positive but still gives you something to work on. I got a lot of new things out of this clinic. Whenever we go to the Bettyfest, all the "go for it ATV" women want to ski with Annie. That's because Annie really goes for it and teaches a lot of good stuff. She's a fabulous coach. Sometimes it's good to hear a different perspective. Another way of saying basically the same thing. That's what Joey did this time and some things really clicked. Guy was jealous that I got to ski with Joey, now I know why.
I met some really cool women to ski with too. I love skiing with the guys but sometimes they degrade into being "guys" and have to out-testosterone each other. It hurts when you try to do that... I don't like pain. When you ski with women, you push each other but a little bit more gently. It's not about drawing blood, it's about having fun, learning something new, and building a friendship. It's about having an experience you can build on next time. Remembering what that really cool set of turns felt like.
I do a lot of sports. Running, biking, skiing, swimming. I have a set of friends for each. And a lot of them cross the boundaries. There is nothing like those friendships.
So, after a good ski weekend and a hot shower, I sit on the sofa and share the beauty of the experience with anyone who wants to read this blog. And later, I'll snuggle down in my warmed bed (electric blanket to get it warm before I even get in) with the most wonderful man in the world... sorry ladies, I'm keeping him... he's the best ever. And I'll dream about next weekend.... on the slopes... in the snow... with great friends.
This is what winter is all about.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Who cares
How does one get to the point where a day dedicated to doing good for others can seem so darned hard? When I can be exhausted and drained from doing what I love to do. Wow!
I am so frustrated by the lack of concern and caring for others. In my profession, the Hippocratic Oath says "first do no harm." It does not say "then do nothing else."
I am appalled at the practice of giving someone a diagnosis and then saying "bye bye." No information on how to follow up, what to do, how to live with that diagnosis, or where it came from.
I feel that I am working very hard to put the CARE back in health care... and I wish my colleagues would do the same.
I am tired. I am going home where I hope someone will care for me with a nice meal.
I am so frustrated by the lack of concern and caring for others. In my profession, the Hippocratic Oath says "first do no harm." It does not say "then do nothing else."
I am appalled at the practice of giving someone a diagnosis and then saying "bye bye." No information on how to follow up, what to do, how to live with that diagnosis, or where it came from.
I feel that I am working very hard to put the CARE back in health care... and I wish my colleagues would do the same.
I am tired. I am going home where I hope someone will care for me with a nice meal.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
What Will You Do?
January 20, 2009
In the big picture, nothing has changed. But everything has changed.
We now have a president who speaks in full sentences.
We have a president who can pronounce the word nuclear.
We have a country and, in fact, perhaps a whole world poised to make change with the hope for something better.
If everyone hoping that the inauguration of President Obama will make a change, works for change, we will have the change we desire.
So, what are you going to do?
What is your part of the change?
So far:
I have committed to join a local organic farm and purchase a share of their produce for the year. Both for my health and the health of the environment.
I have also committed to a sizeable (though painful) donation to the local shelter/food bank - others need it more than I do.
And I'm going to get involved with some of the groups working on change for the healthcare system so that it can be about both health and caring instead of neither.
In the big picture, nothing has changed. But everything has changed.
We now have a president who speaks in full sentences.
We have a president who can pronounce the word nuclear.
We have a country and, in fact, perhaps a whole world poised to make change with the hope for something better.
If everyone hoping that the inauguration of President Obama will make a change, works for change, we will have the change we desire.
So, what are you going to do?
What is your part of the change?
So far:
I have committed to join a local organic farm and purchase a share of their produce for the year. Both for my health and the health of the environment.
I have also committed to a sizeable (though painful) donation to the local shelter/food bank - others need it more than I do.
And I'm going to get involved with some of the groups working on change for the healthcare system so that it can be about both health and caring instead of neither.
Monday, January 19, 2009
New Day
Tonight the world is poised to make a huge leap forward. The albatross that is around our neck (W) will be gone tomorrow. And in his place, is hope.
I don't really expect our new President to be a miracle worker. But I am excited to see the readiness people have for what he will bring. It is not so much the man but the fact that everyone seems inspired. Everyone seems willing to do their part. No one I see is expecting to sit back in the Lazyboy and watch the world change. They are all rolling up their sleeves.
If this impulse continues, the world WILL change.
I have hope. My sleeves are also rolled up. My hammer is ready to build something new.
I don't really expect our new President to be a miracle worker. But I am excited to see the readiness people have for what he will bring. It is not so much the man but the fact that everyone seems inspired. Everyone seems willing to do their part. No one I see is expecting to sit back in the Lazyboy and watch the world change. They are all rolling up their sleeves.
If this impulse continues, the world WILL change.
I have hope. My sleeves are also rolled up. My hammer is ready to build something new.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Vegging Out
Last night was one of those really great nights. I went down to Colorado Springs and spent the day/evening with Ken and Colleen. As is the usual for us, it involved some great time outdoors, some great catching up, some nice wine, and a nice meal.
On the way down, I stopped by the Asian grocery and picked up a bunch of good eats. We hiked the 7 bridges trail and went up Gold Camp Road to the second bridge. It was all very snowy but about 50 degrees air temp. Lovely. Then we sampled the new brews at Trinity Brewing. Mmmmm. And finally to the house for an Asian Fusion night of Vietnamese Spring Rolls and Thai Drunken Noodles.
Tonight, by contrast, I'm heating up some new veggie meatballs (a new brand called Quorn) in diced tomatoes over pasta. I can't complain though, the reason I didn't cook Thai was some nice wine and cheese with friends (fabulous people) here in Fort Collins.
It's all good!
On the way down, I stopped by the Asian grocery and picked up a bunch of good eats. We hiked the 7 bridges trail and went up Gold Camp Road to the second bridge. It was all very snowy but about 50 degrees air temp. Lovely. Then we sampled the new brews at Trinity Brewing. Mmmmm. And finally to the house for an Asian Fusion night of Vietnamese Spring Rolls and Thai Drunken Noodles.
Tonight, by contrast, I'm heating up some new veggie meatballs (a new brand called Quorn) in diced tomatoes over pasta. I can't complain though, the reason I didn't cook Thai was some nice wine and cheese with friends (fabulous people) here in Fort Collins.
It's all good!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Fashion Crisis
Or
How I Learned My Lesson About Ddrinking and Driving
It was that time of the month again. Today was the culmination of a week of being slightly crabby, slightly over-tired, and slightly stressed which ends in the Colorado Board of Medical Examiners meeting. I dutifully read my 1300 + page packet filled with stories of goodness and light (well, not quite).
This morning, I got up at 5 a.m. Instead of tossing on sweats to go to the gym, I had to wear “professional clothing.” The board consists of doctors, lay people, and attorneys. We often have hearings with more attorneys and their clients whose stories have appeared in our packets. Everyone is well dressed.
Today, I selected a soft rayon blouse that has an oblique flare to mid thigh. It is taupe with Asian lettering all over it. It’s also cool enough to wear in the hot little room our meetings occupy. It’s a gorgeous blouse and looks great over a very soft pair of brown slacks. Not usually a fashionista, I was going to enjoy wearing this nice outfit.
As usual, I treated myself to a venti decaf nonfat latte for my drive down to Denver. I settled into my foggy drive with NPR to keep me company and sipped my latte. It was hot, so I let it cool a bit.
The drive seemed to take forever with the fog. I was able to move at a decent rate of speed but it still seemed like forever before I went the 40 miles to Longmont. By then, my coffee was only about ¼ gone and was still toasty but cool enough to start really drinking. So I picked it up to take a drink and proceeded to drop the entire cup, top down, into my lap.
I felt the warm coffee pool in the nice blouse. Then I felt it flood through the fabric and onto my legs, the seat, and finally settle at the back of the seat under my rear end. Damn, drinking and driving is definitely not a good thing to do.
I stopped at the first gas station and changed into the sweats that were in my gym bag in the back. I put a towel over the seat to soak up whatever coffee might ooze from the upholstery. I turned the car around and drove the 40 miles back home to change clothes. Then, I turned around again and drove to Denver WITHOUT coffee. I was late (or perhaps I should say latte) for the meeting but hadn’t missed too much. I explained my tardiness as a Fashion Crisis… wearing a non-caffeineated, non-fat latte is not professional attire.
I learned my lesson…
Next time I will carry a second set of clothes in case my latte gets rowdy.
How I Learned My Lesson About Ddrinking and Driving
It was that time of the month again. Today was the culmination of a week of being slightly crabby, slightly over-tired, and slightly stressed which ends in the Colorado Board of Medical Examiners meeting. I dutifully read my 1300 + page packet filled with stories of goodness and light (well, not quite).
This morning, I got up at 5 a.m. Instead of tossing on sweats to go to the gym, I had to wear “professional clothing.” The board consists of doctors, lay people, and attorneys. We often have hearings with more attorneys and their clients whose stories have appeared in our packets. Everyone is well dressed.
Today, I selected a soft rayon blouse that has an oblique flare to mid thigh. It is taupe with Asian lettering all over it. It’s also cool enough to wear in the hot little room our meetings occupy. It’s a gorgeous blouse and looks great over a very soft pair of brown slacks. Not usually a fashionista, I was going to enjoy wearing this nice outfit.
As usual, I treated myself to a venti decaf nonfat latte for my drive down to Denver. I settled into my foggy drive with NPR to keep me company and sipped my latte. It was hot, so I let it cool a bit.
The drive seemed to take forever with the fog. I was able to move at a decent rate of speed but it still seemed like forever before I went the 40 miles to Longmont. By then, my coffee was only about ¼ gone and was still toasty but cool enough to start really drinking. So I picked it up to take a drink and proceeded to drop the entire cup, top down, into my lap.
I felt the warm coffee pool in the nice blouse. Then I felt it flood through the fabric and onto my legs, the seat, and finally settle at the back of the seat under my rear end. Damn, drinking and driving is definitely not a good thing to do.
I stopped at the first gas station and changed into the sweats that were in my gym bag in the back. I put a towel over the seat to soak up whatever coffee might ooze from the upholstery. I turned the car around and drove the 40 miles back home to change clothes. Then, I turned around again and drove to Denver WITHOUT coffee. I was late (or perhaps I should say latte) for the meeting but hadn’t missed too much. I explained my tardiness as a Fashion Crisis… wearing a non-caffeineated, non-fat latte is not professional attire.
I learned my lesson…
Next time I will carry a second set of clothes in case my latte gets rowdy.
Friday, January 9, 2009
How much can you cram in?
It's not really a "new years resolution" but Guy and I made a pact to work out a minimum of 2x/week. If we don't succeed we each owe a charity $100/week. so I started working out a bit more. We made up a log with a base training program. Arbitrary workouts tossed onto an excel sheet. But, I'm trying to stick to it. I have one run left in the next two days to achieve my week's worth. And I finished the two workouts needed to spare myself a big payment on the first day this week.
So it's Friday night and I'm wiped out. Guy is putting greenboard up in the bathroom so we have a place to practice tiling before we do the kitchen counter. We'll also get our second bathroom functional out of it.
I just painted the closet door and trim for the bedroom... the last few things besides putting my clothes away. I have to get a couple more of those wire baskets for the top of the closet for my workout clothes.
It was a good week at work. I had a minimum of 10 people every day. Whee! And I got credentialed for working at the Urgent Care part time. So now I can start a second job in my spare time.
So it's Friday night and I'm wiped out. Guy is putting greenboard up in the bathroom so we have a place to practice tiling before we do the kitchen counter. We'll also get our second bathroom functional out of it.
I just painted the closet door and trim for the bedroom... the last few things besides putting my clothes away. I have to get a couple more of those wire baskets for the top of the closet for my workout clothes.
It was a good week at work. I had a minimum of 10 people every day. Whee! And I got credentialed for working at the Urgent Care part time. So now I can start a second job in my spare time.
Friday, January 2, 2009
A Fresh Year
Kinda like a whiteboard or blackboard that's freshly cleaned... lots of markers or chalk and time to create. It's a new year. It's a Friday. What a combo!
This morning I ran. I was struck by how new it all is (that's a euphemism for being out of shape). I injured myself a couple years back and have been mostly a slug ever since except in the pool. I've done a handfool of runs but am so out of shape.
So today, I ran. Ouch. My wheels are very rusty. But the rust started falling off today and every day that I run, more rust will fall off. I may resort to WD 40 but I'll get myself moving again. Tinman after a huge thunderstorm and a swim in the salty sea... I'll creak myself into action.
I also went to work. It was a full afternoon. That bodes well for the new year. This will be the start of a very busy work year. Full days and lots of good stuff for people. I see this as the sign of what is to come.
Some people are skeptical that 2009 will be different that 2008. But I have hope. Hope that things will grow, change, and be renewed. The world will be a better place. America will be a better place. People will be better. I believe people are inherently good and this year they will begin to embody that.
Don't burst my bubble... believe with me!
This morning I ran. I was struck by how new it all is (that's a euphemism for being out of shape). I injured myself a couple years back and have been mostly a slug ever since except in the pool. I've done a handfool of runs but am so out of shape.
So today, I ran. Ouch. My wheels are very rusty. But the rust started falling off today and every day that I run, more rust will fall off. I may resort to WD 40 but I'll get myself moving again. Tinman after a huge thunderstorm and a swim in the salty sea... I'll creak myself into action.
I also went to work. It was a full afternoon. That bodes well for the new year. This will be the start of a very busy work year. Full days and lots of good stuff for people. I see this as the sign of what is to come.
Some people are skeptical that 2009 will be different that 2008. But I have hope. Hope that things will grow, change, and be renewed. The world will be a better place. America will be a better place. People will be better. I believe people are inherently good and this year they will begin to embody that.
Don't burst my bubble... believe with me!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Trashing 2008
It was a fitting way for 2008 to end... a trashy ending.
Actually, 2008 had some really great things. Because of 2008, I live in Fort Collins with the love of my life. I have a job with a practice that is solvent. I have a fun little house that is very nearly liveable... and I finally have a bedroom.
But 2008 saw some struggles to get where we are today. We lost several dear friends. Our finances took a beating, just like everyone else.
Last night our friends Marty and Laura hosted a "White Trash New Years." We closed the office early for the Eve and I headed to Goodwill for a shopping spree. I had invited Alexis who was doing a similar shopping trip in the Springs with her sister.
We were scheduled to bring a dessert and Paula suggested we bring a "Better Than Sex" cake. Apparently a lot of people get pretty lousy sex because there are dozens of recipes by this name. I chose a cake with a Devil's Food Base. While it's hot, you drown it in condensed milk, caramel sauce, and crushed Heath Bars. Then it cools and gets topped with cool whip. I added maraschino cherries just because I think they are trashy.
We arrived at the party having a knock down, drag out fight. Guy was shouting about what a terrible woman I am because I was screaming at him for sleeping with my "sister" (played by Alexis). It was quite an entrance and played well to the black eye we had made with eye shadow. The party deteriorated from there into chatting with friends and a killer game of "Beer Pong" in the garage. Even the lawn ornaments had a good time.
And now it's on to 2009. We'll be moving into the bedroom today and I'm thrilled at the prospect. I expect a nap will be in my near future.
Actually, 2008 had some really great things. Because of 2008, I live in Fort Collins with the love of my life. I have a job with a practice that is solvent. I have a fun little house that is very nearly liveable... and I finally have a bedroom.
But 2008 saw some struggles to get where we are today. We lost several dear friends. Our finances took a beating, just like everyone else.
Last night our friends Marty and Laura hosted a "White Trash New Years." We closed the office early for the Eve and I headed to Goodwill for a shopping spree. I had invited Alexis who was doing a similar shopping trip in the Springs with her sister.
We were scheduled to bring a dessert and Paula suggested we bring a "Better Than Sex" cake. Apparently a lot of people get pretty lousy sex because there are dozens of recipes by this name. I chose a cake with a Devil's Food Base. While it's hot, you drown it in condensed milk, caramel sauce, and crushed Heath Bars. Then it cools and gets topped with cool whip. I added maraschino cherries just because I think they are trashy.
We arrived at the party having a knock down, drag out fight. Guy was shouting about what a terrible woman I am because I was screaming at him for sleeping with my "sister" (played by Alexis). It was quite an entrance and played well to the black eye we had made with eye shadow. The party deteriorated from there into chatting with friends and a killer game of "Beer Pong" in the garage. Even the lawn ornaments had a good time.
And now it's on to 2009. We'll be moving into the bedroom today and I'm thrilled at the prospect. I expect a nap will be in my near future.
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